It’s the stuff no-one really tells you about getting pregnant and having babies that I really want to share. The stuff that people forget the moment their little precious bundle comes into the world (hopefully) screaming it’s tiny lungs out.
Firstly, when you hear it can take a year to conceive, you better believe it.
I never really did, assuming that stat was only relevant to unhealthy people and people that just weren’t doing it right. It turns out, while some people have accidents, for the rest of us it can be much harder. We tried different sex positions, different frequencies and everything else you can read online.
No one really shares their struggle until afterwards. I quietly clung onto the comfort of the stats I had researched, that most people manage it between 6-9 months. I also knew a few friend’s of friends that took between 8-9 months, with one taking 12 months.
Anything beyond that was of little comfort to me. I found myself wondering what a life without 2.4 kids and a white fluffy cat in the suburbs would consist of. Knowing all the while that stressing about it was most likely harming my chances. I even worried enough for Chris to decide to go and do a male fertility test.
What’s more, it’s really true what they say. A parent or parent-to-be never really stops worrying. Our poor parents, they’ve been suffering for almost 30 years now. The worry just continues to grow and change. At least it seems to for my poor mum.
The Change After The Test
So now we have seen those little flashing words on the Clear Blue digital test, the next two weeks were taken day by day. There was the constant fear of stomach pain or bleeding. There were lots of trips to the loo to check, you know just in case.
Between that and my uterus growing I was never at my desk while I was at work! Did you know its usually only the size of a small plum, I think it’s now doubled in size?
The First Appointment
We went to the first appointment at the hospital on the Saturday which made everything seem all the more real. Women waddling around with their big bellies, tiny newborns screaming and us. I had my height and weight checked. Go me, I’d only put on a few lbs, though have a feeling my former muscle has since turned into splodge. I got a chance to ask the midwife a million questions. I had my bloods taken and that was it for this week.
I’m not sure I quite anticipated the number of appointments I’ll need to attend over the next seven months. Though am excited for some time off from work that doesn’t have to come from my holiday allowance- wahey! You’re legally entitled to it you know. Just need to wait out the permanent contract that should come this week, and then sit tight for the scan to drop the bombshell.
The Upcoming Dating Scan
We are now approaching the nine week mark, and from what I have read the highest risk phase is over (touch wood!) now the worry has shifted in anticipation on the scan. Which no-one really tells you that it feels like it’s a million miles away and time is dragging!
When people have announced their pregnancies after finding out, I never really gave a thought about what this period would entail. I assumed it was a floating on a fluffy cloud feeling.
Enjoying the news until you get to see your little baby-to-be on the screen. In reality, it feels like time is dragging and you can’t really enjoy your news until you get the all clear. Everything in London smells disgusting, I constantly feel a little fearful of people bumping into me particularly on the tube and all I want to eat is bland high carb food-pass me the pasta please! My conception diet has become a thing of the past.
So in the meantime, we have a friend’s wedding to look forward to and we are planning another trip away. And for those hours to keep my mind occupied while at work, there’s our little blog.
Emotions Are Running High
In an emotional sense, this week has been the hardest to contend with, with both fear and tears both running freely.
On the Ovia app it says it’s the biggest week for the emotions and something my mum pointed out, is that this is the week I have missed my second period- it’s all those crazy hormones at play to blame. Add this to work stress, a mattress company that messed up the delivery, and the boiler breaking, it is not the best combination.
…and thanks for stopping by. I thought I would introduce us; myself (Jo) and my boyfriend Chris. We’ll both be uploading our innermost thoughts and musings over the next phase of our lives which we hope is a very happy one. Welcome to our world x